Day 1 Part 2

Well it is still day 1 and I felt the need to write up another one of these.

Symptoms from after first part:

-head ache

-light headed

- nauseous

- hungry

- cranky

- irritable (in spurts which has been interesting)

- tired

- jumpy (anxious)

Now some of those symptoms don't seem like they would work together very well but it does make it interesting. Another thing that makes things interesting is that I can smell so many things that I have not smelled before. It is to the point where I actually have been washing EVERYTHING I can put in the washer machine and plan to do more tomorrow because I think everything smells awful! I also have noticed that some stuff actually is starting to taste a little different too. Barely 24 hours and all this stuff is already going down. I have heard that sometimes people have trouble sleeping at night cause of quitting hopefully that is not a problem I have. Also hope that my boyfriend doesn't have that issue either. All I know is that tomorrow is the hardest day for me to get through normally. Here is hoping that I can make it through tomorrow because if I can I can probably get through the 3rd day and then I will have no more problems. I quit before and found that I didn't really crave smokes anymore after 3 days of no smoking. Some people do take longer but I only really took 3 days. Hoping to get by tomorrow.

Day 1

So I am trying to quit smoking again. I am going to keep this blog as a quit aid for the time being. Also I want those that have never quit to understand a little better and those that may want to quit to have an idea of what it is like. I have read the NY Quitline website and know what they say to expect but every person is different. They even say that on the very bottom of the page. Some of the things I feel are not on their list.

Today is Day 1 of my quit attempt: My head is killing me; I smell more things more strongly that I have before; I am intermittently tired with lightheadedness every now and then.

The site said that the light headedness is mainly because now more oxygen is in your blood since there is no carbon monoxide being added because of smoking.

This morning wasn't too bad. I used to smoke as soon as I woke up. Not this morning and instead I cleaned the ashtrays, filled them with candy and put away the lighters and matches.

The hardest part I have found is after eatting. Still working on what to do after eatting. Today I try to busy myself with laundry and sucking on a hard candy from the ashtray after eatting. It kinda works.

Before the first day I sat down and wrote out 4 lists. One list is a list of when I typically smoke and the second was what to do in place of that smoke. The next list was a list of why I wanted to quit smoking. The final one was a list of people that I can text/call in the event that I need a little more support. The lists seem to help out too.

Day 2 is usually the day that I falter when trying to quit. We shall see how I hold up tomorrow. If I can make it past Day 3 I know I will be alright because I did quit once and didn't have such a hard time with cravings after day 3. That quit didn't stick because it was not for me so when the relationship ended so did my quitting. This time it is for me and I am sure I can get it to stick.

Valentine's Day

So we are at another Valentine's Day. Today is the day that you are supposed to show your love for those that you love. In my opinion this should be done everyday not only on Valentine's Day. This is not going to be a long rant or anything because I don't want to get into everything that I think about this holiday. I just wanted to say that it is important to show those you love that you love them everyday and not just on Valentine's Day. You never know when something might happen and you don't want to wonder if the person and/or people you loved knew that you loved them.

Prodctivity FTW

So recently I moved to Brooklyn and I have been very productive. Basically I have been job hunting and knitting up a storm. I have been walking the neighborhood in search of jobs with no luck as of yet. Also I have been applying online for jobs, also no luck yet. But, I am hopeful that something will break soon. I also have been doing a lot of knitting so that hopefully I can get an Etsy shop up and running by Spring of next year. I also applied for Medicaid so that I can see a doctor and a dentist and maybe get my teeth taken care of. I also arranged to be able to go to see my family for Christmas this year. Seems like this year may actually end on a good note. YAY! Well off to bed.

Again?

So I seem to have a face that makes people think that I want to hear their life story and their deepest secrets. I don't get it but it happens quite frequently. I have complete strangers just come up and start talking to me about things that I probably wouldn't even talk to with my best friend let alone a complete stranger.

One example happened on a bus that I took from Dundalk to Essex MD to get home from college, a woman who asked me if DNA could tell the difference between an uncle and a father. When I told her yeah and explained how DNA testing works and all that I thought that would be it. Boy was I wrong. She then proceeded to tell me the reason she asked me that. Her reason was because she didn't know if her father was her father or if it was her uncle that was actually her father. Why would you tell a complete stranger that?

Another example happened while waiting for the Megabus to arrive to take me to NYC this time. This women was sitting near me in the little shelter thing at the White Marsh park and ride waiting for her husband to come get her. She proceeds to tell me about her 22 year old daughter. Now this probably doesn't seem like a big deal till you know the story of the girl. She felt the need to tell me her daughter was working as an escort. She also told me how her daughter is sleeping with her ex which is the girls ex stepfather. WTF! Why would you tell a complete stranger this type of stuff.

Why do strangers tell me their life story and why do I continue to let them? I never say anything I just listen. It happens all the time. I have cashiers tell me their life story and random people on public transportation. Some people say I should start charging since I am basically being free therapy for people. Well I will write more later.

""Be careful when you cast out your demons that you don't throw away the best of yourself." - Friedrich Nietzsche"

Mind everywhere

Should warn you that this blog may be a tid bit random. LOL. I am in a pretty scatter brained mood but will do my best to keep it fairly organized.

One thing I noticed is that public transportation in NYC is SOOOOO much better then it is in the Baltimore area. For one thing there are more pick up times for the bus then every half hour and every hour. The buses here pick up between every 5 and 15 minutes. It's nuts! Not only do they have buses that are more frequent but they also have a subway that goes pretty much anywhere. In Baltimore they have the light rail but that only goes to certain places not all over the Baltimore area.

Speaking of Baltimore... There is a reason that people there are called Baltimorons... They can't drive half the time and when there is a weather condition other then sunny they drive like they have never seen rain or snow before. It is infuriating and I don't even drive.

So the Lincoln tunnel something needs to be done about this. I do not understand how it can always be so congested at 7 at night. The first time through it I spent and hour in it and the second time a half hour. I know it is a long tunnel but it really isn't that long that it takes a half hour to get through. I could probably walk through it faster then that.

Music and movies are awesome things. Specially when you are at a residence by yourself. The noise of people talking/singing kinda helps you feel a little less alone. I don't know why. I mean I know that the people singing/talking are not in my apartment but it still seems to make it feel a little less lonely.

I have finally found time to get back to reading. This has been a challenge lately but I am so excited that I was able to get back to my book.

Yes see I am scatter brained. I have a million and a half things running through my head at any given time. It is enough to drive a person insane. Somehow I manage to keep sane well saner than commit-ably insane. LOL. Kinda helps that when I spend time with my boyfriend my mind tends to go blank. I mean I still think things but it slows down the pace. It is not so insanely hyper and chaotic. It is a strange phenomena that seems to occur. Anyone that has known me for any length of time will tell you that my mind never stops and that I am rarely able to clear my mind.

Well I think I shall end this so that you no longer have to deal with my rambling. Till next time.

"I just want you to know who I am..."- Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"

Honest

So I recently was having a discussion with someone and it was pretty light hearted and then they asked me a question. A question they said they were asking me because they wanted a honest answer and they knew that I would give them that. I said alright... Question was asked... I answered... they got upset because it was not the answer they wanted. They then told me I needed to learn some tact. Wait... what??? you came to ME because you know that out of everyone you know I will be the most honest and not bs or sugarcoat but when you don't like the honest answer you get upset with me??? Folks sometimes the truth hurts. I know this. I have been hurt by it a few times. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it any less honest or truthful though. If you ask a question of me expect me to be nothing but HONEST. I hate lying and actually pretty much can't lie. It's not like Pinnochio whose nose grows but it is still really obvious when I try to so I don't.

If you want an honest answer ask an honest person if you want what you want to hear ask a liar. Personally I would prefer someone be honest with me over lying to spare my feelings. Maybe I am just strange though.

"It is not the years in your life that matter but the life in your years"- Abraham Lincoln